Essay Feedback

When re-reading my essay before it was due, I had the same concerns about my piece that Grete brought up in her feedback. I didn't fix the problems I saw in my essay because I wasn't sure how to revise the piece without losing what I liked about my essay. Now that I have more time to revise and second opinion that reasserted what I had worried about, I think I can go back an effectively rework parts of my essay without losing the integrity of my thoughts. 

I was glad to hear that Grete thought the I was funny and reflective because that was exactly how I wanted to portray the author. The largest concerns with my essay pertain to unexpanded ideas and curt reflections after some of the anecdotes. I think her comments will greatly facilitate revising this essay. 

Initiating Action

Through observation, I have come by two examples of "Initiating Action" which I think fit this assignment. Unfortunately, they are not samples I can bring to class, so I will discuss them on my blog. The first is a petition I was looking at in Bollo's last week. The petition was asking Blacksburg residents to sign if they wished for more bike lanes to be incorporated during new construction in the town. They argued that many Blacksburg residents bike as their main form of transportation and that the new plans for Blacksburg did not include adding bike lanes. 

The second example of "Initiating Action" is the Obama rally today on the Drillfield. Students were screen printing red t-shirts with Obama's face, and the band "Hope Hop" performed songs promoting change, peace, and love. Also, students had made signs urging students to vote on Tuesday for the democratic party. 

What is an essay?

From our readings, I have concluded that en essay revolves  around the author and his ideas. The purpose of an essay is to provide a forum of communication between the author and his readers and the subject of this discussion is anything the author wishes to discuss. From this, we see a need for a personal presence from the author. A good essay will allow the reader to participate in a journey alongside the author. In addition to the abstract values of a good essay, it needs to be accurate relative to the subject and the writer's perspective. 

My essay is intended to be a personal narrative, but I have yet to include a strong personal aspect to my piece. I will be including more anecdotes about my self, things I have observed, and their relatedness to my topic. I want to work off the idea of an essay as a journey and invite my reader on a trip through my topic. 

Research Proposal Comments

Grete's note was helpful since I don't really know how to write a research proposal. I think I will still have trouble editing my proposal because I am so unfamiliar with this mode of discourse. My main problem was that I didn't include a real plan of action regarding research and how I will get it. 

Research proposal comments

Response to Essays

The three essays we read, "Ali in Havana," "The Stunt Pilot," and "Silent Dancer," represent cohesive essays and not just short stories. These pieces provide more than plot accounts of an event, but also incorporate the narrator's, or the author's, feelings towards and analysis of what is happening in the story. For example, Judith Ortiz in her story "Silent Dancer" describes her father's uncle's face and portrays it as a symbol of the family, "I realize that in his features I can see my whole family. If you were to stretch that rubbery flesh, you could find my father's face and deep within that face- mine." The narrator of a short story, would have only described his face relative to physical features; whereas, in this essay, the narrator provides her own perspective on the significance of his face. An essay uses details and facts to lend greater meaning to an event and allows the narrator or author to influence the reader of this meaning. Both short stories and essays have clear start and endpoints: an event starts and ends within the confines of the piece. However, short stories authorize readers to interpret the story any way he or she wishes; whereas, essays have already analyzed the event or components of the event and allow the reader to simply understand the interpretations.   

Page 99 questions

1. I want to portray the vegetarian lifestyle as accurately as possible in a way that would allow anyone to understand. 

2. My draft provides a list of sources, themes, and research that I will acquire from these sources.  3. When I discuss reasons for vegetarianism, I can also present some counter-arguments that critics use to discredit the movement.

4. I will use the research I have along with my own ideas to prepare conclusions about what I have read and observed.