Essay Feedback

When re-reading my essay before it was due, I had the same concerns about my piece that Grete brought up in her feedback. I didn't fix the problems I saw in my essay because I wasn't sure how to revise the piece without losing what I liked about my essay. Now that I have more time to revise and second opinion that reasserted what I had worried about, I think I can go back an effectively rework parts of my essay without losing the integrity of my thoughts. 

I was glad to hear that Grete thought the I was funny and reflective because that was exactly how I wanted to portray the author. The largest concerns with my essay pertain to unexpanded ideas and curt reflections after some of the anecdotes. I think her comments will greatly facilitate revising this essay.